My Heart

Do you ever wonder what happened to your heart? I've been frustrated with this very thing for a long time. It isn't until you realize what your heart holds for you that you realize it is missing. For me, my heart holds my personality, my compassion, my beauty, my love, my passion, my life. My heart is where God is. To say you feel like it has been missing might seem a little odd don't you think? I don't. If you look deep within and ask yourself, who am I? What have I become? Do the people around me really know me? I've come to a place where I feel like my answer to all those questions is I simply don't know. For so many years I feel like my heart has had a huge hole in it. I know that God is there...He is always here with me. I've not trusted Him like I should always nor had the faith that I know I should. I have felt empty inside for a long time. My heart, where is it? The answer to this question may not be as simple as I like it to be. You see back when I was in college I became afraid of me. Weird you might think, but I grew to hate me. I was afraid of showing me to anyone that I came in contact with. I thought that I needed to try and be someone else because "me" wasn't enough anymore. I lost my heart in all this. I no longer showed the people around me who I was. I no longer let people inside of me. I didn't share my heart anymore. I certainly didn't let anyone get close to me. Pieces of my heart were gone. During the past couple of months I have found myself looking for my heart. I have been wondering what happened to me. God is taking me on this amazing journey of finding my heart. To find my heart again...to experience the true love of my life, Jesus. I pray that God is filling each and every one of your hearts as He has filled my heart. That you will all be open to the desires He has placed upon your hearts and that you are open to God's calling and leading in your lives.


I was regretting the past and fearing the future. Suddenly my Lord was speaking: “My name is I am” He paused. I waited. He continued, “When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WAS. When you live in the future, with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WILL BE. When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here. My name is I AM.”
Helen Mallicoat